What Family?

i know i have taken a lot of things for granted and i never really realized how important a family is in growing up. i grew up most of my life in the philippines with just me, my mom, and my two older brothers that i was never close to. and my dad was here in the united states. during the time i was in the philippines, i didnt know, but i was a brat, and i always pushed away my mom because i thought i was old enough to handle myself and that i didnt wanna seem like a "mommas boy". i never asked my brothers for help in school or anything because honestly, i was scared of them. all i had was my friends. my friends kept me happy and they kept me going. they gave me a reason to get up in the morning and get to school. and even after school, i stayed there with my friends till they left one by one, and i was left alone. i just never liked being home. When my parents decided that me and my mom are gonna go here(US), i was furious. it meant that i had to leave my friends that ive known since kindergarden to go to a strange place where i didnt know anyone and didnt know how things worked. i fought with my parents day and night just to convince them of letting me stay. but that didnt work. because i was just a child in their eyes and my opinions were invalid, worthless, meaningless. i was 12 or 13 when i said my final goodbye to my friends. and i was in america. when i saw my dad, i felt like he was a stranger. because i dont know anything about him, and most of my life, he wasnt there. well, its been 5 years, me and my mom have moved from LA, to sacramento, and back to LA and lived in about 10 places. this was really stressful for me, especially having to loose the friends i had just met a couple weeks ago, and now i have to make new ones? it was only me and my mom that moved a lot. my dad stayed in the same area because he has another woman to tend to. well anyway, finally we have settled in west covina. i made friends that hopefully will be there whenever im in need of company. so what was the point of all this? a couple minutes ago, i realized something. i have no family. my whole life, my family has been broken. you might say, oh well you have a mom and a dad and a roof over your head, etc. yes, i do have that. but not just because i have a mom and a dad doesnt mean i have a family. a family in my definition is a feeling that you know someone is there for you to rely on when no one else is there for you. i dont have that. and again, when i was little i always pushed away my family members. and now that i need them, they're not here. i have no one to ask about my homework, help me solve this problem, help me write an essay, help me define words that i dont know. no one is there to teach me about cars, watch the nba finals with. i have spent 5 christmases, 5 new years, 5 thanksgiving, 5 birthdays feeling incomplete and depressed...